I never thought I’d aspire to be a grounded mother but they do make quite a different woman don’t they? and by grounded, I don’t mean floating around the house drinking herbal tea, speaking softly about my feelings while my child play with only wooden toys. It can sound a bit much sometimes cant it? like it involves a sourdough starter and never getting irritated but it doesn’t. It just means you’re rooted, strong in yourself and connected to your family. It’s about finding your centre when you’re being pulled in a hundred directions at once.
Becoming a mum has made me want to become this version of myself more than ever. I’d like to think I’m wise and grounded, but I also have very little patience for people who complain about things they don’t change. Nobody’s perfect, though, are they? It’s a work in progress…
Motherhood can feel like a lot when you’re a first-time mum, especially with our baby being born prematurely. Then you have constant hospital appointments. There is also endless information online about sleep cycles, leaps, milestones, and things you’re apparently supposed to be doing. It feels like you can’t catch a break.
I’ve realised being a grounded mother isn’t about having a calm life. In fact, the mums that seem to be practising it have had anything but an easy ride. It’s more about learning how to create it so you don’t spiral out of control. It’s taking control of how things affect you because ultimately what affects you will affect your child. And That’s why feeling grounded is so important.
What does it mean to be a grounded mother?
Feeling grounded is about being present, aware, emotionally steady even when everything around you is chaotic. It’s not delusion, pretending everything’s perfect or being fake. It helps you notice when you’re becoming overwhelmed BEFORE you react or say something you regret. Creating a home environment that supports the kind of life you want is so important. Everything starts at home: your mindset, habits, people everything you let in your home influences and creates the atmosphere within it.Ways to become more grounded ↓
Stop waiting for life to become less chaotic 🌀
I think people think that to feel grounded or calm you have to wait for the dust to settle. This isn’t true. If you live with the idea that calm only happens when everything goes to plan, you’re going to be stressed out. A lot. You have to create calm around it; that could be by grabbing everyone’s things and heading outside. It could mean taking a minute to breathe; it could even mean accepting that plans have fallen through, and you need good self-control for this.
Self-awareness 🧘🏻♀️
The most underrated part of grounded motherhood. I never realised before how much of my own energy affect everybody around me and how my home felt. When you have a baby you stop the excuses of ‘its been a crap day’ and you change it. You don’t wait until you’re completely overwhelmed you take note of early signs, if you’re becoming snappy or impatient, maybe you’re on your phone more or rushing around doing 10 things at once. Whatever it is, it’s your cue to check yourself and nip it in the bud. I know for me I start thinking everything as a worst case scenario or I don’t drink as much or I skip meals.
Create a calm home environment 🏠
Your child is mostly a product of their living environment. Your home doesn’t need to be quiet in order to be calm. We are silly and loud 90% of the time. Nobody is walking on eggshells, we openly communicate so it creates a happy space to do that. Another way to create a calm home is a clean home. I totally get that sometimes the pressure of a spotless home can stress you out. There are certain jobs I hate doing but I listen to my favourite music and podcasts and it always makes the time go so quickly. I also think of the end goal and I know I’m always going to feel so much better when it’s all tidy and clean.
Get outside in nature 🌳
Where else would a grounded mother be? This doesn’t need to be an all day adventure, it doesn’t even need a decent view it can be in your garden but whatever the weather is just step outside. Notice the trees, breath fresh air it’s the quickest way to ground yourself. Embrace every season, dress for the right weather. Don’t wait for a sunny day to do this.
Create small, daily habits 📝
Sometimes it could be as easy as just letting yourself be in the moment. Be bloody present. I remember the first week of having Bobby home; I was feeding him while thinking about washing the bottles and when his next feed would be. It’s unnecessary; just be in the moment. If you’re sitting down at breakfast, be there. If you’re playing on the floor, resist the urge to immediately start mentally planning the rest of the day; just concentrate on what is happening right now.
Choose your thoughts carefully 💭
I have a huge of belief that everything we do is a choice. We may have limited options but we do choose and what we choose to focus on multiplies, good or bad. I used to always tell myself I was anxious, that I had no money, and that I felt worried, and when you live like that, your brain looks for more evidence to support it. Instead, I started looking for solutions: maybe I need a better routine, maybe I need a budget plan, and maybe I need to get outside or talk to someone.
You can’t think your way out of real problems. Life problems, but you can learn to recognise what you can control and take responsibility for your part. We’ve all been there. When you’re in a job or relationship that isn’t bringing out the best version of you, but you think I can’t quit because I’ll struggle financially, or ” What will I do? How will I cope? The thing is, once you make that choice, it is freeing. There is always a way to work things out, it may be harder and if you don’t change it you are choosing the easy route. Either way you have to choose carefully
Practice calm 😌
You’re not going to wake up one day and magically be a grounded mother. You have to commit and actually practice if you’re serious about changing your mindset. You have to give yourself a bit of hard truth. I spent my entire twenties telling people this is just how I am. I’ve always been a little chaotic, panicked over everything; it’s just me, and if you don’t like it, then go. This is actually ridiculous. I just had no self-control; I let my emotions get the better of me, and I started to lose who I was. I would drink heavily and go out all weekend. The skill is to recognise when you’re becoming overwhelmed. I don’t ring my friends for a night out and ignore how I feel; I meditate, I think on it and feel everything, and that’s how you find calm, not by ignoring things.
I’m hoping that committing to these consistently will help me create calm seamlessly. I’ve always been quite a frantic worrier and I just refuse to let that play into motherhood. I’m quite content with the type of person I have become, especially since I entered my 30s but I definitely have noticed such a change by slowing down. Even though it all started out quite terrifying, I have worked so hard to create a calm environment, and I feel like it’s paying off!
If you’re also figuring out what a calmer motherhood. I share daily reflections, real life and recipes over on Instagram @deliciouslycosy
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