I hope you have all had a lovely start to the new year! 🥂
This is my first blog post of 2026, and hopefully the first of many. Life has been busy, but I finally found some time to pause and write.
My aim is to post every Wednesday. It’s a great excuse for us mums to unwind with a cuppa or catch up while nap-trapped. If you have time. I’d love to hear your own reflections and lessons you’ve learned along the way. DM me or leave a comment.
This time last year, the 7th January was one of the worst days of my life, in NICU. I never thought we would be leaving the hospital as a family. Reflecting on an entire year of being a mum seems like a real full-circle moment.
If you’re a new mum, hopefully you can resonate with some of the things I’ve learned.
A newfound respect for mums
You get a chance to stand where your parents once stood. I don’t know about you, but doing this at 32 with one child is hard sometimes, let alone multiple children! My nan had 6 kids, my mum had 4, and I have no idea how they did it. I have such a deep respect for mums that I never really thought about before.
A stronger sense of self
I feel like I’ve always had a fairly strong sense of self-worth. Being a mum and birthing a baby is so empowering. I feel more capable than ever before. I listen to my intuition and trust it a lot more now, and I feel more connected to myself, if that makes any sense. I’m a mum, so I have to do what’s right and speak up on things I care about. Did anyone else feel like this?
You learn to adapt
We learned this pretty early on, pretty damn quickly. I have mentioned this in my ‘birth story‘ and my ‘unconventional breastfeeding journey‘. My choice was to have a C-section and to formula feed. Neither of those happened for me. I had a ‘natural’ labour with no pain relief. Then I had to express milk. This wasn’t my choice at all. However, Bobby came over 2 months early. Breast milk was a case of life and death for him. I really was determined to get enough colostrum and milk for him. If I weren’t able to, we would adapt again and get a donor. Before I struggled to adapt, now I feel like it’s built into my identity. 😅
Meditation really helps me
When I started meditating, I felt awkward! I can’t even describe it, it just didn’t come naturally to me at all. I kept thinking of the one thousand other things I should be doing. Then, I saw a quote that went something like: “Everyone needs to meditate for 10 minutes a day; if you’re too busy, you need to meditate for an hour.” I can’t remember it exactly, but that was the gist. The idea is, basically, the busier your life is, the more you need meditation to ground yourself.
Once I finally got in the swing of it (which did take a while). I found it truly helped me—I’m sure that’s what got me through the scariest birth ever, too! The best thing I found was the guide app and the mindspo app. They both have guided meditations, so you have something to focus on, which is what I really needed. Calm is perfect for anyone looking to get a better grasp of their mental health. Mindspo is brilliant if you’re into manifestation.
How to let go
The first major lesson for me? I had to realise planning doesn’t always guarantee results. Which coming from someone with OCD and anxiety, this was a tough pill to swallow.
What do you mean? If I plan it down to the last detail, the outcome might still not be what I wanted. The birth isn’t what I had planned. I had to completely give up and surrender everything I thought I wanted, and go with it. Something I previously wasn’t comfortable doing.
I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. I am surprisingly glad and so proud of the birth I had, given how early it was – that was traumatic. But because I started meditating during pregnancy, I literally breathed him out with 3 pushes! Bill couldn’t believe how calm I was. I don’t know what came over me! Feeling so cautious about the baby being stressed. My mindset altered, and I imagined the pain I was having was taking it away from him. The calmer I was, the calmer he would be. It could be total BS, but it got me through. I shut my eyes, breathed, and he was out! Looking back at my birth, knowing he is now safe, it makes me feel so proud and empowered.
Don’t stress about the milestones
You will be able to tell if something is becoming a bit of a concern. Although I do think when it comes to milestones as parents, we just need to be patient and trust the process. They will happen when they’re ready. Worrying or pushing doesn’t speed up the process in anyway. We just end up stressing ourselves out. If you are really concerned, always get it checked. Nothing good comes from denial, and there is a very fine line, you just need an expert opinion sometimes.
The newborn phase isn’t as bad as you think
You just have nothing to compare it to yet. The newborn phase is tiring, it’s a lot of losing sleep, especially if you’re a worrier like me. Just remember it is the SHORTEST part of parenthood. It feels like it takes forever, but looking back, it goes SO quickly. Just lap up the cuddles. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have visitors. Make sure you ask for help when you need it. I don’t mean a babysitter. You will want your baby by your side, but if someone can come round to make lunch or do the washing, then just ask! It makes all the difference. It takes a village remember.
All this reflection reminds me just how quickly time goes in parenthood! It really is true what they say: The days are long but the years go quick. 🥹
Sometimes it’s nice to sit and read a blog post even just once a week, instead of doomscrolling. It can help us feel a little less lonely by sharing our experiences and worries. D’ya know what I mean?
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